Monday, October 7, 2013

Week 26 (Oct. 7, 2013 Congreso, Argentina)

Mom, before I write to president about this depression deal, I wanted to ask you something. I was very blown away as well with conference and couldn´t believe my ears when Elder Holland started talking about depression. Never has any answer from Heavenly Father come to me in such a strong way. I am so thankful and I know that Heavenly Father has heard my prayers and yes I agree with you that it is so amazing that people can really receive such specific answers like that in General Conference. That is a witness to me that He lives and loves us and know us perfectly. So here is my question, and maybe I am just thinking to hard and analyzing things too much like always haha, but I am not sure if this talk was an answer telling me that yes, I do have a form of depression, or that I was supposed to learn from this talk what depression REALLY is and that I don´t have it. I know it was an inspired answer to my prayers but I am not sure in what way. Because I am still happy, I have not lost all hope like elder Holland said. He said that depressed persons don´t have a desire to do on and can´t go on. Well I am still on my mission and I want to become better and help others. I laugh, talk about happy things, and I am not sad all the time. Its just a feeling that I can´t really explain and so I don´t know whether Heavenly Father was trying to tell me that I have depression or that depression is something worse and I don´t have it. Bit confused and maybe you can help me?  

Okay I did it, emailed my pres. I dont want people to worry over me mom, especially if it is nothing. I don´t really know how to explain how I am haha. I think I am better a bit. Conference helped tons and I have been praying and seeking comfort from Heavenly Father. I am so blessed mom. I will never forget that. I am sorry for all this craziness and unsurety that I am causing. I promise I am not seeking for attention or anything like that. I just want to be better so I can focus on my mission and return home with no regrets, having helped God in His work with all my heart, might, mind and strength, and with a better heart. That´s all I want. Thanks so much mom for the prayers and for putting my name in the temple. I would feel super bad if I really am okay and am just being a baby and my name is being put in the temple for that reason. I know that the names that are put in the temple really need special assistance and help from God and that there are many others who need it more than myself. But I sure so appreciate it. You haven´t told anyone about this have you? 

Thanks mom! Uh I had lots to do on the comp today and so I didn´t finish my email to you but it is a draft if you want to read what is there you can and I will finish it next week :) After all that has happened, I am doing very well mom. I know that this experience will help me become more like my Savior and will help me be stronger, or at least I really hope so. Right now it is hard to see a stronger me in the future. I don´t feel like I am changing too much but I have faith that I can and I know that this is where I am supposed to be. I love serving a mission and know that I will come to love it more and more. Thanks so much for EVERYTHING Mom. I sure stinkin´ love you and the family so much. Tell everyone hi and that I am praying for yall and also feel your prayers here. I am so blessed and I feel good!! Love you! 
Kates :) 

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